Felicidad

Well i have Less than one week before i enter the Missionary Training Center. As time gets closer i have discovered something I didn't expect. I thought that as the time came closer i would want to do more of the things that i wont be able to do such as x-box, or watch a lot of tv. What i have found is that my motivation does not lay in those areas. I have been studying five to six hours a day, spending time with Spanish and the Book or Mormon. I believe that i am studying harder and more effectively then ever before in my life. As i wonder why this changed, or what brought on the decision to do this, i realize that i never really decided to do it. It just kind of happen. and i have also noticed that i feel more endowed with power, and more in tune with the spirit then ever before. I noticed that today I studied the Book of Mormon for four hours straight without realizing it. I did it almost effortlessly, and it wasn't mentally taxing to my brain. I feel that my soul is rejoicing in the extra spiritual nourishment from the gospel. President Benson said "There is a power in the Book Which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book." I feel this is more true now, than it has ever before been in my life. I feel that whatever power President Benson is speaking of I am now feeling in my life. The other thing that i feel very motivated to do at this time is to spend time with my family, friends, and loved ones. I feel that there is so much i can learn from their example, and that i have taken some of their examples for granted. I have also come to realize through my study how blessed I am. How many things i have in my life has that i don't need. I have realized that sometimes i am dependent on earthly things when i could be relying upon eternal things. In reading my Patriarchal Blessing i have notice how much it talks of family. and I realize that i should be more great-full for my family, and those close to me. I am so blessed to be close to so many spiritually strong individuals. I Believe that Happiness in this life comes from Being faithful and great-full. I believe that as long as we are faithful and Great-full in all things we will remain happy. I believe that when we begin to struggle with whatever trial, we must put extra effort into those areas. I believe that as long as we are trying we will one day return to the presence of our father and feel his full and complete love once again.

49 Days

Well my friends I enter the M.T.C in 49 Days. How do i feel about this you might ask. and my answer would be OK. i feel like i need to go, and i am supposed to go. and i am excited to go. But I am going to miss people that i love. and i am going to pray for them everyday that they will be alright. and that they can feel Gods love for them. Recently I entered the Temple for the first time ever. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. I think what is the most interesting thing is that i have grown up in the church my entire life, but i still knew absolutely nothing about what was going to happen. I went in expecting, I don't really know what but something, and it turned out to be nothing like i expected. But I am with out a doubt happy that i went. and Happy that i can go again and again for the rest of my life so that i can try to understand more of what happens inside. One thing i can tell you is that the temple is a beautiful place, and that the feeling at the very end is something i at least have felt no where else on the planet. I have also been studying Spanish, as i will be teaching in that language for the next two years, and i think the most challenging thing is to stop thinking in French! I find that i can memorize the words easily enough with time. But it is infinitely harder to make myself think the Spanish word when the French word comes to my brain so quickly. But i know without a doubt that if i keep on trying and studying that God will help me. I know that if i am diligent and obedient then my heavenly father will help me to speak Spanish. I know that while my mission is going to be a challenge it will undoubtedly make me stronger. I know that even if every minute of the next two years of my life is hard i will not regret it in the end. I know that through our struggles God prepares us for the future. If we place our trust and faith in him all things will be alright. I know that the key to happiness in life is to trust god, to be obedient to his commandments, and to know that if you are on the path, trying to be more like him, trying to perfect yourself according to his standards then you have made it. You will be happy for the rest of eternity.

Missions

I have been called to preach the gospel to the people of houston texas, I will be preaching in the spanish language. When I first opened my call and read where I would be serving, I felt the spirit of God like I have never felt before, when i think about it now i still get that effect. I know beyond any doubt that I was called to serve there by my heavenly father himself. And although an apostle of the church helped communicate that call to me it was indeed heavenly father that made the decision. As time rounds down closer, i find that satan tries more and more to stop me from preparing, but I am working hard to fight the natural man in me, and do all that I can to prepare. I have been thinking a lot lately about my mission and I think that the only thing I will miss is spending times with my loved ones. My dad made a comment to me the other day that I don't often express my thoughts, so it is cool when i do for him to know what I think. I have been thinking about why that is, and i have reached a conclusion. I think that I am not at a point in my life where i understand myself, i'm not even sure if anyone is in a place where they understand themselves. But i am sure of one thing, and that is that god understands me perfectly, he understands every thought and feeling that goes through my head, and knows just what to do to calm my troubled soul. I realize that my mission is going to help me become a loving husband and father. And i hope that it helps me understand what i need to do to become a soul worthy of the living with my heavenly father, and my family for the rest of eternity.

Life through my eyes

I think that there are two types of people in this world, there are the people who are content with the simple answers that life gives them. They live their lives day by day enjoying what experiences come. Then there are the people who refuse to accept the simple answers. They live their lives thinking, but still happy in a different type of way. In thinking, they discover that in life, there are paradoxes, things that are incomprehensible but they are ok with that as long as there is something, something they can believe in, something constant that controls everything. Some of these people turn to science, and they hope that science has enough answers to satisfy these paradoxes, which it usually does. Others of these people turn to religion; they rely on their faith to satisfy what they cannot comprehend. In the end, everyone tries to live happily but some people succeed much more than others do. I have tried to think about this for a long time, to try to determine why that is, why some people are become happy old people, and others are old bitter and genuinely unhappy.
Today my family watched a movie called “Seven Pounds” and while watching it made me think back to the time when I had cancer, and was receiving chemotherapy, and thanks to experiences prior to receiving chemo, I knew that I would live, and that everything would be ok. And having that knowledge, that faith helped me to be optimistic, and happy in a time of great trials and sufferings. Moreover, since then thinking about it, I think I have determined at least a rough draft so to speak of how to live so that I might be happy. That is to have faith in the lord to know that he is all knowing and all power full. And to believe that when you are struggling with something it is him trying to prepare you for your future. and to make you a happier person.

Cougar Chaos

Last the Insomniac part of me took over, my brain was way too active to fall asleep. After two hours of laying in my bed thinking about everything I surrendered and went downstairs to the TV and watched a couple psych episodes before falling asleep. While laying in my bed i was thinking about the slightly depressing fact that i know live with my parents again. Don't get me wrong, they are great people and i love them; but lets face it life is just more fun when you aren't living with people that go to bed at 9:00. anyway I thought about all of the fun i have with my five previous roommates. I will probably never have the opportunity to live with five people with such, shall we say, personality. I think it is appropriate to write down some of our most epic moments. The First epic moment that comes to mind is the night we got our new couch. Our dorm room, came furnished with six hard table chairs that look as if they should have been thrown out years ago, and one small couch i believe is called a 'love seat'. Why the university thinks it appropriate to have a love seat in a dorm with six male freshman in college is beyond me, but never the less that's what they gave us. After some quick mathematical thinking, we realized that we had two soft seats in front of the TV, and six boys that wanted to sit in them. you may see what i am saying and think that only two people could fit on the soft seats! However you would be mistaken, it was more that possible to get four if not more people on that couch. well either way we wanted another couch, there was of course couches in the lobby, and one night at about 2:00 A.M. we decided that we should just move a couch from the lobby into our apartment! this was clearly a genius idea, and we did it. so problem solved right! wrong, a few weeks later we had a cleaning check and our RA told us that we had to return the couch to the lobby. So we did, begrudgingly yes, but it got done. We that had the same problem that we started out with. So Evan, Nate and I decided to go to D.I. to see if they have any couches we can but for cheep. well we get there and find a very ugly and yet oddly comfortable couch for 35$. we were of course careful to "eye ball" the the size of the door, and we were confident it would fit, and so we bought it. now all we need to do is get it home. now Nate has a car which is very convenient. however this car is what i believe to be a 1998 Chevrolet Prizm. which if you have ever seen one, is not exactly the optimum car for couch transportation. so being three in shape college boys, we decided that we can just carry the couch home which, after looking up the distance on map quest is about two mile! well needless to say this was an epic night. we got the couch all the back, with only the help of our Family home evening sisters for the last 100 ft or so. that couch served us very well, and at the end of the year we carried it back to a D.I. trailer

Another epic moment actually happened almost every Sunday for 8 months. the first Sunday of the month we happen to have some packs of Jello. and we decided to make and eat this tasty treat. Well seeing as all six of us have a considerable amount of "personality", the act of Jello eating turned from just a tasty treat to a hilarious moment in the life of all of us. we continued this moment for 8 months, and we made some extremely tasty treats.

There are many more epic moments, but i think that there are too many to write them all down. If you really want to hear a few more, than look up the Blog Cougar Chaos and there are several more stories of my roommates.

Explanations

I have often wondered about blogging. As my Father would say what it the value of Blogging? how useful on a scale from 1 to 10 is Blogging? well am not sure how useful it is yet, or what its purpose is so i decided to Google search Definition of A Blog. what i got was this, "blog - a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies" so i figure that if this blogging business has any use at all to me it will be to develop a habit of writing experiences down.

First thing you must know about me, is that writing and grammar are not exactly my forte thus if you notice grammatical errors i apologize in advance. Second is probably an explanation of the name i picked for my Blog, The Life of An Eccentric Insomniac, well as you probably guessed, i suffer from a condition called insomnia although this condition is controlled by medication i still sometimes have difficulties falling asleep at night. Then there is Eccentric, Many people have told me that i am strange. Well I have decided that to be happy in life i must accept myself for the way i am and thus i realize that i am eccentric and i embrace it, and sometimes have a lot of fun with it.

As i am an 18 year old boy who is nearing the age of 19, and thus preparing to serve a full time Latter Day Saint Mission, The gospel has been on my mind frequently. And i think that my views of the Church, and the Gospel of Christ is greatly influenced by my parents, specifically my father. the first thing i think that is influenced by him is one of my all time "pet peeves" at least as far as church talks go. I hate it when a person gets up to the podium to give a talk and says, "I was asked to give my talk on x" (for those of you who are confused by the x, it is a variable used in math basically that is where they would say their topic) another one is the notorious Ice breaker, now don't get me wrong i am as much as a fan of jokes as the next guy, but when they say things like "wow this big crowd is intimidating" or, "I know there are people here that could give a much better talk than me." It really doesn't motivate me to listen to the talk! Another thing that my dad and i have in common is our frustration with the simple answers. When people say things like we need to teach with the spirit, i wonder how we are supposed to do that? and what does it feel like or how do i know if i am doing it. I believe that these attributes force me to think about what i really believe and not what i have always been taught. I believe that this strengthens my testimony. The thing i have been thinking about the most is the Mission. I have been told my entire life that a mission is not going to be a walk in the park, it isn't going to be easy at all, but it will be worth it. That the lessons I will learn on my mission will help me come closer to Heavenly Father, and help me to become a good father. So, in preparation for my mission i have often questioned that if i am ready to serve the Lord for two years of my life. and the conclusion that i have come to, is that there are obviously two answers, either i am, and God as been putting me trough trials for my entire life to get me ready, or that i am not, and God will make me Ready as i try with all of my might to serve him. Either way I am excited to serve. A year of college has made me realize that i need to grow up before my life can progress any farther. I need to decided what to do with my life that will effect the world in a worth while way. I need to realize my full potential, and hopefully my mission can help me realize all of that. and help me to grow in ways that i never realized possible. As i look back over this i think it has been therapeutic for me. I also noticed that I use the word thus more that the average person, Thus i am eccentric =D.